The Hammer Weilding Maniac is Dead! That's The Good News!

The bad news? Literally everything else.

Did you know that the Universe is slowly expanding and that Earth will eventually destroy itself?

Seriously. Which shitty awful thing do we want to read about today? The horrible Amtrak derailment in Philadelphia or how we probably could have prevented the horrible Amtrak derailment in Philadelphia? The fire that killed over 70 workers at a slipper factory in the Philippines because bars over the fucking windows prevented workers from escaping, or the fact that probably this factory made your beloved Isotoners? Also, just FYI: US honeybees are disappearing, Australia would like to kill Johnny Depp's dogs and we now live in a world in which The Craft is remade without Fairuza Balk and The Simpsons exists without Harry Shearer. Also you kids get your damn ball off my lawn or I will keep it. You hear that, kids? KEEP YOUR DAMN JOYFUL RACKET ON YOUR OWN LAWN OR I WILL KEEP THIS BALL.

But hey, at least the Hammer Wielding Maniac of Union Square is dead.